Is Your Child a Bully? Here’s How You Can Help Kids and Teens to Stop Bullying Others

No sort or level of bullying is ever right. Bullying has to stop, TOTALLY.

According to the data given by the UNESCO Institute of Statistics, one out of three teenagers around the world experiences bullying. Of the two sexes, males have a higher rate of getting victimized than females; nonetheless, anyone might become a target.

In general, the existence of this big and distressing problem is a very saddening and alarming information to know, yet it is no longer new to hear. Indeed, it is not anymore new to hear, but that does not mean you should just turn a blind eye to it.

The issue of bullying is a head-aching matter in all, if not just most, schools and universities globally. Together, parents and school authorities are doing their best to manage and solve it, but sometimes, bullying is just so widespread that it’s hard to put an immediate stop to it. The effects are grave and dangerous for bullying comes in different but similarly destructive forms and means.

Bullied kids do suffer and endure a lot of burdens and hurts caused by their bullies. It is definitely heart-rending to know that at a young age or at a time when they must be healthily and happily enjoying their childhood or teenage years, they become unfortunate victims of some other children’s bad actions and treatments. Because of other children’s feeling of superiority, they feel inferior.

If you are a parent of a bullied kid, surely, you will be in pain to know of your child’s situation. This youngster which you yourself have raised and taken care of is being placed under one’s thumb by some other kids out there. That’s definitely a piercing thing to discover that will make you angry and do everything you can to protect your dear offspring. 

On the flip side, what if it’s the other way around? What if your son or daughter is the one who gives other kids ill treatment? What if he or she is the reason why his or her classmates go home crying and feeling terrible? What if you are often called to school by the discipline office because of your kid hitting and beating up others? What if your own children’s actions cause others’ children to take their lives away? What if your child is THE BULLY?

Your role as parents is huge and significant in helping your bully kids to stop bullying others. As you know, who kids are in school or wherever outside the home reflects what your home is. Their bullying behavior might be or might not be a result of family factors, but nevertheless, if there’s anybody who can give bully kids the best and most understanding help, it’s their loving parents.

Here is a list of 6 detailed ways to help and encourage your own kids to stop bullying other kids. Don’t just list them down; do them.

1 – ACKNOWLEDGE THE PROBLEM WITHOUT DENIALS.

The first and most crucial thing to do when you find out or get a call that your child is a bully in school is to acknowledge the problem without denying that it exists.

Bullying is REAL. It is not some type of fictitious school drama you watch and read. Bullying happens in school and other places including the neighborhood. Awfully, it happens every single day.

Many children do not always or do not totally realize that they are bullying others. They are neither fully aware nor sensitive to the adversities they inflict on others’ lives. As responsible parents, you cannot and you must not deny when your kids are bullies because you will not be able to help them help themselves if you do that. 

Some parents’ lack of mindfulness towards the occurrence and prevalence of bullying makes the topic more horrible. Why? If you brush it off, you will do nothing to put an end to it. If you do nothing, more and more bullied kids will be miserable, and bullies will keep bullying alive. There will be no resolution if in the first place, there’s no recognition.  

2 – PRIVATELY AND CALMLY SPEAK WITH YOUR CHILD.

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Establishing discipline in the family is not all about sermons and spankings. You might be mad and disappointed with your child’s bullying behavior, especially if they are already mature enough to know what’s right and wrong, however, you must stay calm and composed. With a hushed and clear mind and heart, talk to your kid about this matter. Do it in private, so you can discuss without making them feel hesitant or embarrassed.

Communication is a substantial key in every relationship. In the family, sometimes, this is the most lacking aspect that defines the harmony at home. Speak with your child to unravel the cause, to know if they even know the problem and to find a solution. If you do this, you are proving that bullying will never be agreeable, tolerated and excused.

Help your children grasp that bullying is absolutely a negative demeanor hated by all. Make them aware that even teasings they find humorous might not be funny at all for others. As you talk with your youngster, make sure not to use any degrading and mean words against them out of your disapproval towards their actions. Don’t let your emotions make things worse when you can actually control them to do what’s best.

3 – EVALUATE CAUSES OF THEIR BEHAVIOR.

Parents know their children more than any other people do. But if the cause of their bullying attitude is a complete mystery to you, then explore and evaluate what it could be.

Using an honest yet non condemning conversation with your kid, learn why they have this unwanted behavior. Ask what your kids feel. Know whether or not they have any personal troubles that bother them. Do they feel inferior, so they hide behind the superiority mask? Let them trust you to confess if he or she is being oppressed by someone else. Is there anyone who bullies him or her, so he or she gets revenge through others? Identify his or her friends and their conduct. Is he or she experiencing peer pressure from bully chums?

Whatever the root of your child’s bullying behavior is, start mending things from there. Addressing it somewhere else besides the root will twist things.

Furthermore, in case your kid’s way of behaving is quite strange and uncontrollable, put on your guard because it is possible that it is the result of a disability. If you notice any sign or if you are having a more difficult time as you try to solve the kids’ bullying behavior, do not hesitate to consult a doctor to help you and your child. 

4 – TEACH THEM THE VALUE OF RESPECT.

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Sad to say, bullies are often considered and viewed as disrespectful and bad-mannered, not just by their fellow kids but also by other parents. This is heartbreaking if you are the parents of the bullies because it can say a lot about how you brought them up. Despite everything, you can still help your kid slip out of that bad reputation and develop a better life for themselves. 

Regardless of their age, you can always be their big reminder and teacher of the value of respect. Kids who bully oftentimes fall short of discernment and sentiment of others’ emotions. Understand how your kids feel, and drive them to comprehend how other people feel when they are bullied. Let them know that every human being has feelings. Even behind a smile could be hiding a wound. Feelings matter; they should not be invalidated. One must not just care about his or her own emotions but also of others’.

5 – INFORM THEM ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES.

Even when you turn the world upside-down, bullying will always have consequences. First, there are inevitable consequences in the form of the effects of bullying to the victims and in the form of the unchanged life to the bullies. Second, there are consequences which the advocates to stop bullying can set.

Talking about the latter, inform your kids that there are corrections to be done for them if they won’t stop bullying others. If it’s necessary, let them know there could be punishments. Be particular about what they might be subject to if their bullying prevails. Personally, provide them clear and well reasoned consequences that suit the situation. It could be deprivation of recreation or privileges.

On the other hand, let them seriously know that if their bullying behavior does not end immediately and leads to more detrimental impacts on the victims, the case might be taken to court. You may state some real-life bullying accounts that resulted in the bullied kids’ parents making complaints, getting family and child advocate lawyers, suing and filing charges against the bullies and other bigger steps involving the laws. Before this weighty thing happens to your kid, act quickly to put themselves together.

6 – BE THE BEST EXAMPLE. 

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Let the kids hear appropriate words. Show them nonviolent behavior. Motivate them to make good and lasting friendships. Encourage harmonious and congenial sportiveness. Assist your child to properly deal with feelings of insecurity, annoyance and anger. As you lengthen your patience and enhance your reactions towards unpleasant situations, your children will adapt and learn how to decently handle alike happenings as they grow up.

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HELP BULLIES STOP BULLYING

Numerous are the possible reasons behind your children’s bullying behavior. Regardless of their specifications, bear in mind that parents take the highest accountability in inculcating discipline to their child and helping them take off their poor choices. Know that bullying will keep going without bullies, like your kid, taking responsibility for their manners, acknowledging their wrongs and accepting to change for the better.

Bullies can stop bullying with the unwavering support and love from parents. Realize that shaping an unlikeable behavior to a wholly likeable one does not happen overnight. It takes time. There may be hindrances and hitches, but be patient with your child as you help them help themselves to stop bullying.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Nicole Ann Pore is a writer, an events host and a voice over artist. She finds quality and well-researched writing as a worthwhile avenue to enlighten and delight others about things that matter. For her, it’s restoring and fulfilling to the heart and a great way to clear the mind while loading it up with fresh learning. Film critiquing and filmmaking are among her interests too. Giving all the glory to God, Nicole graduated Cum Laude from De La Salle University Manila, Philippines with a Bachelor’s Degree in Communication Arts.